Mind the f#@king gap

Another random rant, utterly pointless you might think but there is always a need to rant about stuff. So this is one that could save people a lot of time EVERY DAY, yes EVERY DAY, assuming you drive a car of course, every day…

Driving Slow

‘He won’t get there any faster”

It stems from the ‘He won’t get there any faster’ attitude toward driving. Well I’ve got news for all the gimps who say that, I’m always there quicker before you, I’ll be on my second tea or third beer by the time you get your fat arse there. It’s the cars you see, in a traffic jam just creeping along leaving a huge gap in front of them, these idiots think that because it won’t get them there any quicker if they don’t close up it won’t affect anyone else. Well it does, leaving a massive gap pushes other cars further back, the further back they are pushed the further back the traffic jam is, then guess what, you have to join a traffic jam and get slowed down for longer, you are just that bit further behind so you miss the changing lights and have to sit there for another 3 minutes, all because some dunce was ambling along totally oblivious to anything outside his/her slow moving mundane world.

It’s these same fucktards who have no idea what is behind them (or indeed in front) who will trundle along at 43mph on a motorway then just carry on in their zombified state through a 30mph zone at 43.

The moral of this pointless rant? It’s that the next time you hear someone say ‘they won’t get there any faster’ you know they are a moron, and you should give them a much deserved punch, IN. THE. FACE. (this will cure them).

Just don’t get too upset or you’ll turn into Ronnie Pickering.

Handing cups of tea to people

Cups of tea have a handle on them. This most people are aware of, however some people are perhaps unaware that the reason for having a handle is to hold the mug when it is hot. So you don’t BURN YOUR FUCKING HAND.

Cup of tea

No Lionel it’s the fucking handle I’m looking for!

When you experience burning your hand on a cup of tea you will quickly come to the conclusion that it is not a pleasant experience that you would like to repeat. If you are a clever person you make make a deduction that other people also do not enjoy the experience of burning their hand. Which brings me to the conclusion that people who (very kindly) make you a cup of tea, hold it by the handle and pass it to you to take are not clever. Why do something so nice as make a cup of tea only to inflict AGONISING PAIN on the person you make it for? Is this some kind of revenge for going through the ordeal of having to make a cup of tea?

Just be nice, make the tea and put it on the table near the other person so they can pick it up with the handle and experience no pain in the process. Simple.