We now have mouse mats!

Kaboom! We’ve just launched a new range of mouse mats, bet you didn’t see that coming…

Like with cigarettes computers can be very harmful to you. To your health, your wallet and your social life. Too many hours sitting in front of a computer can really do bad things for your posture, but that’s not all, it’s your personality you need to worry about. You see computers can be exciting in some situations but on the whole they are pretty dull. Being surrounded by dull things can make you a dull person which is why we’ve done a mouse mat especially for people who spend too much time on their computer which works not only as a mousemat but also as a handy warning about turning into a dull person.

Pornography Mousemat

Warning the internet contains pornography mousemat

There is a slightly darker side to computers and that strange thing they connect to, the internet. It is full of dark stuff, nothing wrong with a bit of porn but just in case you weren’t aware, there is a lot of it on the internet. So if you know someone that is easily offended or spends a suspiciously long time online with the door locked and strange noises emitting from the room.

Whether you like porn or not, computers can be fucking annoying that’s why we thought we’d make a mouse mat to commemorate that fact. Many years ago Bill Gates set out to create a new computer, computers were evolving fast, getting more useful, more productive, easier to use, better looking so he saw something others didn’t.

Annoying computer mousemat

Warning computers are fucking annoying

He saw he needed to put a stop to this, a change was needed, a change in direction for the entire industry, a change for the worse. A computer that was slower, had worse graphics, that was easy, he wanted to go further and create one that was infuriating to use. That’s when Windows was born. Thanks to Bill Gates all of the more efficient and intuitive computers were squeezed out f the market so everyone could feel the pain of Windows.

IBM HAL

Look closely…

Which brings us on to IBM, who were only too happy to help give him the hardware he needed for his evil dreams. IBM makes an appearance in 2001: A Space Odyssey, perhaps a prediction at the time of what Kubrick thought IBM would become way off into the distant future of 2001. But surely the computer that kills most of the main cats couldn’t be an IBM?? Nope it’s called HAL  (9000), just one letter away in the alphabet. Purely coincidental of course…

HAL Mouse Mat

I’m afraid I can’t do that Dave…

So there you have it, a random and slightly fictional account of a bit of the brief history of computers and their trusty friend the mouse, er, mat. Yet we sell mousemats now.

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