Stop making F1 ugly

  • 0

Stop making F1 ugly


I’ve been an F1 fan for as long as I can remember and I’m getting seriously pissed off, this year the cars will look like weird ant eaters with dull V6 engines with stupid KERS systems.

Of course everyone says the F1 cars from when they were young were the best, but I think everyone can agree things have got worse. You could say it is just the technology changing, 200mph doesn’t necessarily mean pretty but if function is taking over form that’s fine, as long as it is to make it go faster, generally things that make cars go faster actually make them look better, like wider wheel arches to accommodate wider tyres. It’s when the stupid regulations are put in place with no thought to how it will make the cars look.

I’ll boldly state that F1 cars started to look shit in 1998, yes a few years before with the safety regs coming (high cockpit sides etc) they weren’t as nice but the skinny track cars were the first time I was really offended by pointless regulations making the cars look bad.

1994 Williams

Ayrton and Damon stand with their handsome Williams FW16

Take a look at the car above for example 1994 Williams, that’s what a proper F1 car should look like. Then below we have the horror of today;

Ugly 2014 F1 car

Toy car with an ant eater nose

Oh Dear! Actually this isn’t the worst looking modern F1 car, my vote would go for the 2009 Sauber or 2012 Ferrari

Sauber 2009

Awful front wing

Ferrari 2012

Awful front wing AND nose

You do kind of get used to them being so ugly until you look back at the much better looking cars of a few years ago. An F1 car should look powerful and sound scary, not like some stupid toy car making a buzzing sound.

So lets have a look what happened in 1998. In an attempt to cut cornering speed they reduced the width of the cars (and wings) and gave them grooved tyres. 1997 was a great season so it was high time for the FIA to step in and try to ruin things.

1997 Williams

Looking good

1998 Williams

JV feeling a bit sick (livery didn’t help)

OK so I slightly unfairly picked a car with probably one of the best F1 liveries every next to one of the worst by it is my blog so I’ll do what I want to illustrate my point.

Things stayed the same for a while until the FIA really tried to fuck things up…

For 2009 there were big changes, wings made far too wide at the front, and too thin and tall at the back making the cars look like some kind of crazy road sweepers. This has to be the worst of the changes since 1998 despite F1 trying it’s hardest!

2008 F1 vs 2009 F1

Wide wing and fat nose

So how could you possibly make things worse than this?

Ta daaaaaa!

F1 noses

Broken noses

Yep! They did it, in 2012 for perfectly valid safety concerns they thought something needed to be done about the noses to lower them so they would not pierce a monocoque and injure another driver which is fair enough. But it just seems that there is no thought put into the asthetics of the cars. I don’t blame the aerodynamicists, it’s their job to make the cars as quick as possible. They  were allowed to put a ‘vanity panel’ on the nose make it look slightly nicer however this would add weight so just isn’t going to happen. Had it been thought through by the rule makers they would have seen how bad the cars would look and could have adjusted the rules to prevent them looking so bad.

Sadly it seems there is no interest in this, which is really missing the point of F1, ask any racing driver or racing fan about the first time they saw and heard an F1 car and how it made them want to see more. This is what gets kids interested, the kids who become fans, engineers and even drivers.

I remember back to the late 80s and early 90s and the cars looked monstorous, exciting, loud and something I just could not imagine being able to drive like Mansell or Senna, just you look at them now and they look quite frankly pathetic, and will probably not sound particularly exciting anymore with V6 ERS engines.

The changes for 2014 just cement this, and show the lack of understanding of what makes people interested in F1. Hasty rules to change the noses again and make them a different kind of ugly.

If I was a kid turning on the TV or going to a race I doubt they would capture the imagination like they did just a few years ago, instead the focus is on silly rules like double points and DRS.

When the season starts and you hear the Ferrari just have a watch of one or both of these videos from 1995 of Alesi driving the last V12 F1 Ferrari and compare it to what you see Alonso driving today;

And after that I thought I’d treat you to the full horror of 2014!


Ugly F1 noses 2014

Which is the worst??

  • 0

A big helping of scapegoat’s cheese from the energy companies

Category:Energy Prices

I’m not referring to any one energy company in particular but if you read this today, tomorrow or next month there is probably an energy company announcing a price rise, so that is the company I’m referring to.

Between 2004 and 2012 gas and electricity bills have gone up nearly £800 in eight years, that’s 151 effing percent! Oh yes and I know it’s 2013 now so if I had a little bit of spare time I could work out an even higher percentage but I think you get the point.

Energy Company greed

Image: Chevron Thinks We’re Stupid.

If the companies just came forward and said “we have an obligation to our shareholders to make as much profit as possible, and we’ll do this at the expense of the average British citizen” at least they would be being honest.

Instead they are blaming the ‘green levy’. The green levy, what a great excuse. People often go on about windmills blotting the landscape and not generating much energy, well that’s just perfect. Blame the green loonies then the Daily Mail will fall for it and rally up it’s readers who will then blame the green levy. But wait, oh shit! It wasn’t the Daily Mail who fell for it, it was David Cameron! What a result, how’s that for a free ticket!

The ridiculous thing is the public are getting annoyed at the prices as they themselves have to shell out more money, and secondly the many poor pensioners who across the country have to struggle through the winter and face a severe risk to their health. However the ‘green levy’ is precisely the thing to help them, by helping them make the houses more energy efficient through things like loft and cavity wall insulation, thus reducing their reliance on their heating and therefore their bills.

In the current situation energy prices are going to rise, whether you believe this is due to the wholesale price or the oligopoly of the energy companies, you would be a fool not to predict them going up. So therefore the best thing to do is reduce people’s reliance on the energy companies by making houses more efficient. This also has the benefit of making the country more green (but we’ll forget about that benefit for now). Abandoning this is just plain stupid and utterly gutless by David Cameron, trying to cover up their lack of ambition to stand up to the energy companies by following their own scapegoat. John Sinfield the MD of Knauf Insulation has written a well reasoned argument to David, which will fall of deaf ears.

All the while the attention is drawn away from the massive profits the energy companies are making due to an uncompetitive market they are in, giving them the opportunity to operate inefficiently and have an unnatural profit. And all this at the expense of you and me, and the old lady across the road (according to Age UK 24,000 people will DIE due to the cold this winter).

We all get annoyed seeing bankers get big pay offs, BBC staff getting £143,000 pay offs but this actually is a matter of life and death for some people.

Oh and just so in the case of fairness, I have criticised David Cameron for being a spineless toff so just watch this video to see how shallow Mr Milliband is…

Please go ahead and vent your anger and ruin their social media channels;‎




  • 0

Tesco wants your face


Tesco will be using Alan Sugar’s (yeah that’s right I call him Alan not Lord), digital signage company Amscreen to feed you adverts based on your demographic. It basically looks to see if you are male for female, young or old and show an advert ‘suitable’ for you. A Tesco spokeswoman decided to feed the press some horse shit of her own with this statement;

“This is not new technology. No data or images are collected or stored and the system doesn’t not use eyeball scanners or facial recognition technology”

Minority Report adverts

Yeah I really want to see this shit all the time

Well that’s just super Mrs Spokeswoman, but why can’t you just piss off? Do people who dream up this crap actually think it’s cool? Are they so small minded not to realize people don’t want this forced on them? Did they really watch Minority Report and think the adverts forced on him were ‘cool’?

Just because something uses clever technology doesn’t necessarily make it a good idea, who would actually want this? With marketers becoming so stupidly obsessed with personalisation and thinking we’ll be happy to ‘be served relevant ads we want’ at  the cost of your privacy. Sorry just give me a generic ad any day, I don’t want my history tracked so I can see the ads right for me.

I  know this doesn’t use facial recognition so isn’t recording anything but how long will it be until it and other systems like it do that. Anyway you can forget the privacy issue for a minute and see it’s just see it as plain intrusive, can you not let me get on with my business of walking round your store, getting overcharged for horse meat and duped into buying the latest 3 for 2 offer (which doesn’t actually work out any cheaper) without having to be squeezed just that little bit more to extract the last penny out of me.

How insulting will it be when it gets your sex wrong and shows the wrong advert? Or how will you feel when you walk past and are judged to ‘want to be served’ some hearing aid adverts because you look really old and decrepid, or perhaps some Tesco value chips because you look poor, or perhaps a big tub of ice cream because you’re fat?

If anyone can think of an ingenious way of making them crash (show the camera a picture of Alan Sugar’s piggy little face maybe?) then you can have a free t shirt.

More information on Tesco.

  • 0

Sony try to make you feel nostalgic with some old Playstations


Sony have just released an ad which takes you back in time, a long long time ago in the distant past which you may have read about in books. (Those weird things with paper instead of a touch screen). 1995 to be precise when you may remember the first Playstation being released.

At the time everyone was waiting for the Sega Saturn, we’d had a new wave of half arsed consoles from companies that knew nothing about them like Panasonic (3DO) and Phillips (CDi) and now Sony were going to come in and make a fool of themselves. Instead they actually made a really good console which focused on 3D and did it much better than the Saturn could. But what they did was make it socially acceptable and even cool. Suddenly you didn’t have to chose between Streets of Rage and a girlfriend! (Streets of Rage 3 had a lot more depth than any 14 year old girlfriend I could have had at the time).

Sony toured around and put the PlayStation in clubs, playing a futuristic game racing game called Wipeout, which had songs from The Prodigy, Chemical Brothers, Orbital and Leftfield… in an F#cking computer game!

Writing about it now actually makes me want to play it now.

So Sony now are planning to release the PS4 very soon and are ramping up their marketing efforts to persuade you not to buy the Big Brother in a box Xbox and get their new console. So instead of showing some fancy graphics they’ve been clever and tried to play on a bit of nostalgia with a new ad showing some young guys playing on a PlayStation.

PLaystation nostalgia 1995

Scroll down to watch the video, but make sure you read this you lazy bugger

It starts off with a wall covered in posters, the noticable one being Blur’s Parklife album, you then hear an unmistakeable count down to a Gran Turismo race, which kind of sets the tone. They fire up a bit of Tekken, then quickly bin this PlayStation and get a PSone (a smaller version), presumably because the Chinese kids that made their first PlayStation just didn’t have their hearts in it and made a dud one. And so they move on through past the Millennium (no sign of Cliff Richard singing his Millennium Prayer) and through every version of the PlayStation up to the new one.

It’s a nice little ad, yeah the 14 year olds must presumably be 32 at the end but haven’t aged at all and haven’t got up to much in the last 18 years apart from play on their PlayStation, but one of them does have a girlfriend (who isn’t allowed to play) and shows it’s OK to be a geek and like this stuff.

Yeah it’s just an advert aimed at people like me to spend money with the a mega corporation but I suppose it has worked, I’m a sucker for a bit of nostalgia.

  • 0

The Analogue Revolution came and went

Category:Analogue Revolution

What has happened to The Analogue Revolution?

Way back in 2006 we started out as Analogue Revolution, about this time the media were hyping the ‘Digital Revolution’ which got a bit boring so we thought we’d make some T shirts and hoodies, simple as that. We came to the idea to rename the website Stolen T Shirts as we thought the name Analogue Revolution was shite. We had for a while but mainly due to laziness and partly due to not having the time to rebrand everything.

So what do you think? We think it’s mint but then again we would wouldn’t we!