Category Archives: Money Grabbing Bastards

  • 0

Advertising bullshit: Lloyds bank and their horses

Category:Money Grabbing Bastards

The latest in a long line of sentimental adverts with a accompanied with a slow ‘emotional’ (and inoffensive) song from the likes of Barclays, John Lewis (of course) Sainsbury’s and many other companies who don’t give a shit about you (well John Lewis aren’t too bad actually).

Don Draper

Thinks he is this guy…

This one however is a little bit cleverer than most, think about it, what do people hate at the moment? Yep banks. (Here are five reasons you shouldn’t like them). So asks Mr Marketing Agency Wanker, who thinks he looks like Don Draper but instead looks more like this dickhead on the right proclaims;

“Hmmm what do people like, what is nice and friendly? Hmmm I like cats, no goats, no wait… HORSES, I love HORSES. There was even a film about a horse, not that beautiful black one but the one that saved World War 2, or 1, I can’t remember, it doesn’t matter.

Let’s rip that one off and make people feel warm and fuzzy about horses and stick our logo on at the end while they still feel warm and fuzzy.”

But is more like this guy.

But is more like this guy.

It’s almost as if they thought that if Sainsbury’s can get away with using one of the most horrific and tragic events in recent human history to sell a chocolate bar then this can work for us, especially if we put it in the war and cash in on War Horse at the same time. And the true stroke of genius or (cynical exploitation depending on which way you look at it) by showing a disabled person getting on a horse.

The tag line at the ends which is somehow trying to connect all the warm feelings of horses with your sodding bank is just cringe worthy; “By your side for 250 years”
Yeah at your side for 250 years silently charging you excessive fees to keep you in debt, selling you PPI, avoiding tax and having lovely friends like Rio Tinto and Lockheed Martin.

Just fuck off Lloyds, you aren’t fooling anyone with this crap, I don’t even like horses that much so there is no way you’ll get me.