Category Archives: Random Rants

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Mind the f#@king gap

Category:Random Rants

Another random rant, utterly pointless you might think but there is always a need to rant about stuff. So this is one that could save people a lot of time EVERY DAY, yes EVERY DAY, assuming you drive a car of course, every day…

Driving Slow

‘He won’t get there any faster”

It stems from the ‘He won’t get there any faster’ attitude toward driving. Well I’ve got news for all the gimps who say that, I’m always there quicker before you, I’ll be on my second tea or third beer by the time you get your fat arse there. It’s the cars you see, in a traffic jam just creeping along leaving a huge gap in front of them, these idiots think that because it won’t get them there any quicker if they don’t close up it won’t affect anyone else. Well it does, leaving a massive gap pushes other cars further back, the further back they are pushed the further back the traffic jam is, then guess what, you have to join a traffic jam and get slowed down for longer, you are just that bit further behind so you miss the changing lights and have to sit there for another 3 minutes, all because some dunce was ambling along totally oblivious to anything outside his/her slow moving mundane world.

It’s these same fucktards who have no idea what is behind them (or indeed in front) who will trundle along at 43mph on a motorway then just carry on in their zombified state through a 30mph zone at 43.

The moral of this pointless rant? It’s that the next time you hear someone say ‘they won’t get there any faster’ you know they are a moron, and you should give them a much deserved punch, IN. THE. FACE. (this will cure them).

Just don’t get too upset or you’ll turn into Ronnie Pickering.

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Handing cups of tea to people

Category:Random Rants

Cups of tea have a handle on them. This most people are aware of, however some people are perhaps unaware that the reason for having a handle is to hold the mug when it is hot. So you don’t BURN YOUR FUCKING HAND.

Cup of tea

No Lionel it’s the fucking handle I’m looking for!

When you experience burning your hand on a cup of tea you will quickly come to the conclusion that it is not a pleasant experience that you would like to repeat. If you are a clever person you make make a deduction that other people also do not enjoy the experience of burning their hand. Which brings me to the conclusion that people who (very kindly) make you a cup of tea, hold it by the handle and pass it to you to take are not clever. Why do something so nice as make a cup of tea only to inflict AGONISING PAIN on the person you make it for? Is this some kind of revenge for going through the ordeal of having to make a cup of tea?

Just be nice, make the tea and put it on the table near the other person so they can pick it up with the handle and experience no pain in the process. Simple.


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GCHQ spies on and stores images of naked children

Category:Random Rants

Metro Newspaper

At least the Metro made something of it

Whilst the news still clamours around the phone hacking scandal and everyone is outraged about some shite newspaper ‘hacking’ phones of newsworthy people (the hacking part involved someone knowing the standard four digit passcode for voicemails which is the same unless changed by the user), GCHQ goes on the rampage and actuaally puts a camera in your home to watch you.

Just think about that for a minute. When people talk about Big Brother they often say “what will be next? A camera in your home??” Errr well it won’t be next as it’s already happened, THEY have actually done this. With an Englishman’s home being his castle this was always something that was a step too far, yes CCTV everywhere in public but not in the privacy of your own home.

If they ever did it would only be for

William Vague

“Law abiding citizens have nothing to fear”

terror suspects of course who were an imminent treat to the pubic, just as William Hague said “law abiding citizens have nothing to fear“. Hmm well again another mistruth. As fresh information has come out from the Edward Snowden files the ‘Optic Nerve‘ program has been indiscriminately tapping into Yahoo Messenger webcam sessions. Not terrorists, not the Mafia, not North Korea but anyone, literally anyone from your granny making a video call to her grandchildren, to some fat old guy with his wang out.

I find it hard to fathom how little attention this has got in the media, the fact that 3-11% of the images STORED by GCHQ had ‘undesirable nudity’ (does this mean there was desirable nudity?), due to the mass scale of the collection this WILL include children as well as adults. So what we have here is GCHQ collecting and storing pornographic images of children, and what is done about it? Nothing. Why is there not an arrest warrant out for Iain Lobban and William Hague who claims to know what goes on in GCHQ?

Undesirable nuditySadly I think most of the British public just don’t get it, and will happily fall for whatever ‘National Security’ excuses are made.

It’s Ironic that in the Labour years they appeared to be the Socialist Big Brother, Nanny state party. The Liberal Democrats who fight for civil liberties would never allow this to go on, and neither would the Conservative Party who stand for the individual and hate state interference. Surely if a ConDem Government got into power all of this disgusting behavior would be reigned in? Well I’m afraid not, and if these two parties that stand for liberties and freedom appear to be jealous of the way China operates act like this then what hope do we have when Labour get back in…

Just get back in line and do not question authority.